Living With Panic Attacks

 

**Disclaimer** This one is another tough one to right. I am in no way a doctor or providing medical advice, only making assumptions on what I have experienced personally. 

Growing up I was always the chatty one. The one who wouldn't stop talking.....ever. Bless my parents for dealing with it! Even going into my college years, I have always been the one to chat with new people. I was a server for almost 4 years and wouldn't have any issues chatting up a storm with my tables. 

Recently (and by recently I mean the past 2 years) I had my first panic attack. Out of the blue. Totally unexpected. My family went to a football game that our friend was dancing at. Once the game was over there was a celebration on the field. Of course, we sprint down there without thinking twice. After about 5 minutes of being down there, I get a wave of emotion and well....panic. I had no idea what it was and 100% thought I was about to die. My wife was also in fight or flight mode trying to get help. We ended up climbing the stairs and manage to sit in some chairs outside of a food stand. We walked to the car and I immediately passed out on the car ride home. After that night, we both did insane research to figure out what it was and we came across panic/anxiety attacks. Neither of us knew anything about them. Every symptom matched. Here is the list of symptoms we found: 

Pounding or racing heart

Sweating

Chills

Trembling

Difficulty breathing

Weakness or dizziness

Tingly or numb hands

Chest Pain

In those moments leading up to my first panic attack, it felt like my world was being shut down and overwhelmed in the crowd. Like I couldn't be my own person. Everyone was pushing me and moving me around the field. Like I couldn't breathe or think any thoughts besides that I wasn't me. I felt helpless and afraid. 

I thought that was going to be the only one I ever experienced. Little did I know that these have been something I have experienced all of my life just not on this level. 

My second panic attack was after a very deep conversation with my wife. We were picked up by our neighbors in their Razor to take a night ride around the park. I have been in a Razor before going way faster than he was going. He didn't go faster than 15 mph the entire ride. Out of the blue again I started to panic. Christian was more prepared this time as it happened 2 years ago. I was able to finish the ride, but my body was EXHAUSTED. I felt like I had just done a HIIT workout. My heart rate was through the rod and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I fell asleep at 7:30 pm and slept through the night. 

That happened around the beginning of March and since then I have had two more. One more intense than the other in the Costco checkout line. You know how crazy-packed Costco can get. 

I am confused, concerned, and scared. I don't know why these are happening and I don't know how to prevent them. I know I have definitely thought twice before going places where these could become more severe. 

I don't know if this will be helpful to anyone else because every single person is different, but knowing that I have these has been a huge help while having them. Knowing that it will pass. That I will get through and be okay. Breathing exercises to prepare has also helped me feel more prepared for the next one. It also helps SOOOO much to have a partner who is compassionate and caring to help during these times. When C puts their hand on my chest it's a sense of relief. Knowing they are there and going to stay until the end. 

Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or concerns. It's always helpful to know you aren't alone. 

@_tatecribbs_